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Peking Duck
It was one of the weirdest experiences in my life…
Nothing important, nothing earth shattering…just, well, weird!
I have to take you from your comfortable tropical perch to the cold, foggy environment of the Low Lands. Early morning in these parts during pre-spring conditions is brutal and cold.
Throw in the sterile conditions of a Highway Environment ant the stage for Total Weirdness is set…
After having spent a few days with relatives, catching up and re-acquainting impossible relationships, it was time to make an early trip to the Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport to pick up the person I really care about.
I had been spending the nights at my brothers digs, yes, the one who managed to gain newspaper recognition by cramming an impossible amount of US pennies down local parking meters and informed him that I had to get up early for the 1 ½ hour drive to the airport.
We are talking about a guy who sleeps so deep, that he puts an old-fashioned wind-up alarm clock in a tin pan next to his bed. The resulting ruckus MIGHT wake him in time for work…
“I cannot help you”, was his reply.
So I conditioned myself to rise in time, about 4 AM and departed west.
Half asleep on the A-1 I was amazed at the progress of the trip. I lamented the fact that I could have slumbered an additional 45 minutes or so; my rate of travel would put me at my destination way before I needed to be.
And then The Obstacle appeared. It had become foggy and the red taillights cast a bloody gloom across the landscape ahead.
I came to a halt behind some trucks that had stopped and blocked both westbound lanes. I sat there for a while and because not much was happening behind me, I decided to leave the comfort zone of my rented vehicle and went for a walk.
The cold air rejuvenated me as I stepped into the fog. Moving ahead I passed some vehicles and then, a last truck was left between myself and what seemed to be some kind of activity. I passed the barricading visual effects of the lights and stepped right into the Twilight Zone.
It was white and it was feathery. The highway ahead of me was covered with suffering and dying birds of some kind. They were large and they were plentiful.
Apparently the truck carrying this cargo had been clipped by another vehicle. Plastic crates were thrown all over and many had released their contents. It was a Disney nightmare…
In the eastbound lane, separated from this strange scene by menacing guardrails, the red and blue lights of law enforcement vehicles became visible. They passed alongside us searching for a crossover.
Not all of the feathery victims were unfortunate, on the shoulder the healthy survivors clustered together and were talking up a storm among themselves. It was a very discomforting sound. I did not understand the language but I heard the pain…
The law enforcement had found it’s way to us and immediately took charge. Clearing the way for traffic was a priority. But then it was suggested that maybe the suffering taking place should be attended to first.
It was decided that anything “in pain” should be put out of it’s alleged misery. Two officers moved toward the closest birds and attempted crude euthanasia. The resulting maneuvers just seemed to upset the plumy victims and cause major squawking all around.
Increased attempts made things worse. My god, they had survived a high-speed traffic accident and rough neck-twisting was not going to solve this problem.
It was decided that no matter the condition of these creatures, they should be driven off the asphalt, into the foggy shoulders and join their healthy comrades.
And so the road was cleared for us travelers, we were directed back to our vehicles and into the night.
It was not until the next day when I was exposed to the irony of it all. The local newscast and several papers reported on this incident. Yes, it was drama and it involved true suffering.
In the end, it did not matter. The cargo turned out to be a load of genuine Peking Duck.
They were on their way to a slaughterhouse…
What a slice of life…
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